Cathryn Rogerson, a Headmaster's wife, argues that boarding provides children with time and space, as well as facilities and activities to help them to develop

The Headmaster’s study at Cottesmore is oak panelled, cosy and warm. It is divided into two parts. On one side there are some comfortable armchairs, an often used coal fire, books and photographs. On the other side are two desks: one for the Headmaster and one for me, his wife. Staff, parents, boys and girls have been popping in and out of the study for many, many years.

From my desk as wife of the Headmaster, I have a privileged view, and have been able to observe the workings of this school and many others – independent and maintained, boarding and day – from a unique perspective.

There is a completeness to life in a boarding school. Each member of staff has a pastoral rôle besides teaching, and takes on myriad duties as part of school life. The high expectations of the classroom spill out into all areas of the school, and every child, academically gifted or not, will be given the opportunity to discover and develop his or her full potential.

All children have their own special talents. Sometimes it takes time and patience to discover them, but one must be there to recognise and capture the spark. There is no greater joy to anyone who loves children than to see it kindled. A child never leaves this school without setting the world on fire in some small way. I feel sure that this can be said of all good boarding schools.

Children need to be loved, listened to and respected. They must have time and space to make their own mistakes and to learn from them. Most boarding schools are set in beautiful surroundings. They can provide children with the freedom so lacking in large parts of England today. A weekend means time to play, make friends, climb trees, be silly, get muddy, make believe, take risks, run, jump, hide, compete, relax. A team of experienced adults will always be nearby keeping a watchful eye from a discreet distance, conscious that there are times when children need to be separate from the world of adults, but aware of their responsibility for the children’s safety.

One of the major developments I have seen over the years is the introduction of girls into some of the most traditional boarding schools. It has been a huge success. Boys and girls together mean fun. The combination is as natural as a family, which is after all what a good boarding preparatory school should be. When girls first came to Cottesmore in 1974, after 75 years of boys only, the school became warmer in atmosphere and more challenging. Boys began to tolerate and take a greater interest in the arts whilst with an appreciative audience, match results got better and better! The girls integrated well, were quick to learn and to take advantage of the huge range of games, hobbies and activities on offer – there were more than 25 to choose from at the last count. In the classroom, the natural competition between male and female, and their unique approach to each subject, enhanced academic performance hugely.

News of those early co-ed generations makes interesting reading. Most have been through university and are now earning their livings in various ways. Some work in the City, some have joined the medical profession. Some are dentists, aid workers, journalists, professional musicians, computer experts or lawyers. Some are married and have their own families. The common thread running through the lives of these young men and women seems to be their ease with each other. Firm friendships were forged at an early age, and a remarkable sense of tolerance and understanding has been carried through to the workplace and beyond.

The advantages of a boarding school for those living abroad are plain to see. The high academic standards, continuity and stability that this style of schooling offers must be a major factor when parents are making that important decision. But many local parents will also allow their children the privilege of boarding. The completeness of the education, the fun and friendships of the safe environment make it an attractive option. Daily travel to and from school is eliminated. So too are those evening runs to the children’s myriad after-school classes, all of which will be on hand and time-tabled in a boarding school.

Although separation from one’s children, even for short periods of time, is not easy, especially in the early stages, all schools are more open to parents than ever before and boarding schools are no exception. Frequent exeats, faxes, emails and telephone calls ensure that families keep in very close touch with each other, school and home, working in harmony towards a common goal.

Siblings can often benefit from being distanced from one another for a short while. Younger children at home have a chance to grow and develop with  their parents’ full attention, whilst an older brother or sister at school can make a mark before a young sibling arrives. Many younger ones clamour to be allowed to follow a big brother or sister to school after a term. I can honestly say that in more than 25 years, I have never known a parent/child relationship to deteriorate because a child has been allowed to come to boarding school. Quite the contrary, relationships have been enhanced through mutual appreciation, as both parents, particularly those who work, put aside special time for their children when they come home, and children begin to discover their own talents and independence in school.

Many myths surround boarding schools. Some are true some are not. One thing is sure: a visit is essential. All schools will be glad to see you and be proud to show you what they can offer.

You will know what is right for your child when you see a school full of bright, shiny, confident children who look you in the eye and say “Welcome”!

Mark and Cathryn Rogerson have been running Cottesmore for more than 25 years. They have four children of their own, all of whom went to the school, and continued on to independent boarding schools.

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