Top tips from the boarders themselves

Be there for other boarders who are homesick. I felt homesick at first but I made close friends who helped me to get over it.
17-year-old girl boarding at New Hall School

Don’t be shy if you need to know something. Don’t be too scared to ask, and try to make new friends. It will make it easier to settle in. Bring in home comforts like photos, teddies and anything special to you. It really helps, and if you ever get homesick it is a brilliant cure.
11-year-old girl boarding at Blue Coat School, Birmingham

Don’t be a follower of things you do not want to do. No one will think any less of you if you say you are not comfortable with what they are doing.
17-year-old boy boarding at Tonbridge School

When I started boarding, I was excited and scared at the same time. But then people started being friendly and I soon enjoyed it. The toys I took made me feel more at home. Boarding is a great experience and I love it.
9-year-old boy boarding at Blue Coat School, Birmingham

It is a great experience in your life. Enjoy it, because it is once in a lifetime; although you sometimes feel homesick, it is fun. It is very different from where I come from, but it is good to learn new cultures, people, language and lifestyle.
14-year-old girl boarding at St Anthony’s Leweston School

I brought in lots of postcards from home to brighten up my bed space, and I told my grandparents the school’s address so they could write to me.
13-year-old boy boarding at Blue Coat School, Birmingham

When looking around the school ask the current pupils their thoughts, for example, if you like sport which house is best, etc.? They will be the people who know the school best.
17-year-old boy boarding at Haileybury School

Boarding is great fun. Don’t worry if you get homesick, there is always a friendly smile from staff or friends. Before we got to sleep it’s a good chance to catch up on all the gossip. There is always some teenage gossip to share. There are a lot of activities during the weekend. No one has an excuse to be bored.
12-year-old girl boarding at St Anthony’s Leweston School

This extract from Being a Boarder by Rose Heiney is reproduced by permission of the Boarding Schools’ Association (BSA) which holds the copyright. Being a Boarder was commissioned by the BSA as part of its B21: Boarding in the 21st Century Campaign.
Copies are available from the BSA (an order form is under publications on the BSA website www.boarding.org.uk).

... while others recall more distant memories

Testing, exciting and fun
As an only child, I really appreciated the communal living of boarding school. For the first time in my life, I was constantly with people my own age. It was testing, exciting and very fun. The homesickness wore off after about three weeks and from then on I was much more independent and grown up. I also made friends with older pupils – something that didn’t really seem to happen at day school.

I discovered how overseas students broaden boarding school life. My best friend was Romanian and would come back from every holiday and tell me all about Bucharest and the Black Sea which was very interesting.

And I certainly didn’t miss the twice-daily haul across London on the Underground, which I’d done when I was at school in London. Having all the school facilities close by saved a lot of time and effort. And although two hours’ compulsory ‘prep’ per evening seemed like a drag at the time, I think it did me a lot of good. I would never have been that disciplined had I been at a day school.
Hermione Eyre went on to study English at university and now works as a journalist for a national newspaper.

So many opportunities
Academic studies are, of course, a crucial part of education – but boarding provides so many opportunities in sport, music, arts and other extracurricular activities that are as important to your education as the grades that you get. It is also particularly beneficial for students living abroad: I lived abroad for much of my school career and boarding gave me a constant base, so that I didn’t have to change school each time we moved. This was very important as being uprooted and moved can be disruptive.
Richard McDougall studied Experimental Psychology at university and now works as a management consultant.

An aspiring little philistine turns back
Being not very good at being good at school, my main sentiment at the end of ten years of boarding was that I had at least survived. Time, though, has provided some other perspectives.

Memories of cold winter afternoons on muddy rugger fields, of runs, restrictions, regimentation, minor rebellion, discipline, discomfort, lack of privacy, little contact with home, have faded although others, of awful food and the pervading smell of cabbage, socks, loos and disinfectant, still persist.

But some remain clear, particularly of sunlit days in lovely and palatial surroundings which even an aspiring little philistine could appreciate. There were the many facilities: sports, games, theatre, music, the lively art school, numerous clubs and societies, and a chance to shine somewhere. I still worry that I didn’t make more use of them, but a lot of ground was covered and there were few spare moments as I recall.

There were many friendships and we shared the rights of passage. We learned about loyalty, to endure together, to help each other, to trust and be trusted, to compete, to win and lose. We passed some exams, became a little wiser and a lot more confident, but many of the real benefits only became clear after I had left.

By that time I had become aware of values that matter later on. All schools try to instil them of course, but at boarding school you have to live with them, to be judged by your peers and learn from your mistakes. There was also a legacy of curiosity, and many of the interests I pursue now were kindled at school.

So when it came to our children’s turn there was no doubt about it. They could board – if they wanted to. They did, and it was a credit to them and to the schools they attended that they got so much out of it, whatever my bank manager had to say.
Derek BIngham, once-reluctant but eventually happy boarder, is Editor-in-Chief of John Catt Educational Ltd and of Peridot Press

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